Dear Amazon,

If you could please send me another credit. I don’t care if it’s for legal reasons or what just give me more money to spend on books.

I’ve only got a few dollars left of the $60 you gave me and I still have like 163 samples left to read through. I’m bound to find more books I have to own and the credit I have left is just not going to cover it. Sure I’ve already bought four books but there are so many more out there I need.

So hook me up bitch.

I’m sorry I shouldn’t have called you a bitch, I take that back. Please don’t let that color your opinion of me. I hardly ever use that language and I was just trying to be cool so you’d like me.

Let’s get back to the purpose of this email. I want more Amazon money for books.

Please?

I’m serious here.

I need my fix man.

What’s up? Why you no send more money?

You know what? You’re a fucking bastard. You give me a sweet little taste and now that I’m hooked you’re going to make me pay?

How do you sleep at night?

Sincerely,

Give Me More Money Now!